Am meeting M at her place today to cook for tomorrow's Bellringer's dayboard. Forsee many small meatballs in my immediate future. Tunic I made at V's yesterday came out well, am thinking-- did a good job sewing it, want it to be sturdy as will be my all-purpose utilitarian garb for quite a while, until more can be fetched from Canada. ( 11:11 AM )
Listening to: Victim of Love by the Eagles.
Realized I never mentioned the New Year's Eve party at Icky's. Met with M and A at his house, then drove down to Icky's for the party. All the usual suspects were present, with a few notable exceptions: the past 4 years I've been gone have shown me that, while many things will stay the same (such as Doctor S in the kitchen drinking and harassing Icky, P laughing that odd honk-bray of his, N adding his usual quiet but bizarre sotto-voce commentary) lots more will change: sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. The ebb and flow and eternal change of life... got me all philosophical-feeling it has. Listening to Barber's Adagio for Strings certainly doesn't help, either.
Anyhoo... we schmoozed for a while, then watched the second Austin Powers movie, then drank Freixonet as the ball dropped, and worked hard not to bawl like a baby at the thought of "last year this time". Been having lots of those moments lately, completely non-productive. Sigh. Went back to A's where I crashed on the sofa, woke v. early, read an Elizabeth Peters mystery I found on the coffee table, went home. ( 11:06 AM )
Listening to: These Days by Jennifer Paige.
Had that dream again where I have nothing to wear, so I go shopping for clothes, stark-naked. Weird to see myself in nothing but knickers wandering around Kmart. And then, in the middle of my shopping experience, I apparently realize that it's a bad idea to be shopping whilst almost completely nude, and try to inconspicuously leave. The thing that is funny to me is that I don't realize until half-way through the dream; at one point I didn't have any problem whatsoever with the nude-shopping concept. Nothin' wrong with it at all, nope. LOL. Personally I think it relates to my not-exactly-stellar judgment where life choices are concerned.
Exhibit A: my college major. Yeah, it was fun studying all manner of medieval stuff in depth, and hoo-boy did I enjoy the French classes, but how have they served me in life? Not at all.
Exhibit B: marrying D. Now, while it was an excellent "learning experience" it was, when all is said and done, a horrific mistake. To employ some purple prose, I was positively flush and heady with the novel experience of being in luuuuuuuuuuuurve for the first time in my life. Failing to see what a disastrous mistake it was to marry a guy I'd barely known 9 months, and moving to a desolate cultural desert, and being abjectly poverty-stricken, and sticking it out for 4 years instead of throwing in the towel after my first inkling that it was all a huge mistake. In fact, I was a complete idiot for being willing to return to the sitch all the way until a few weeks ago, and I'm still an idiot during my weaker moments for wanting to go back to that.
These are just the biggies, I'm sure there are dozens, if not thousands, more lapses in judgment of a lesser scale. Of course, I must be balanced and mention that I've also made many wise decisions of life-altering scale, as well. There have been lots of opportunities for me to do stupid shit like drink, smoke, fuck, steal, etc. and I'll even go so far as to admit that the urge was present. Never gave into it, though. So I deserve points for that. Sure wish someone was keeping track. Mebbe I should-- I could whip out my list and show people. "Look how good I've been!" ( 10:50 AM )
Here's a Name Generator for when you are hankerin' for a cooler moniker. My Blues name is Slo Gin Ginny. ( 3:16 AM )
Just back after spending the night at V's; so calm and peaceful, never a raised voice. A pleasant respite from the chaos chez Roberts. Went there to sew for Bellringer's on the 4th; got exactly half of one garment accomplished-- spent the rest of the time chatting, eating, reading. [sigh] Will be going back Thursday to actually sew the kirtle am supposed to be wearing, and finishing the cloak I managed to at least cut out.
Cloak is fine aubergine wool, to midriff in front and below waist in back. I wanted something that would keep my chest and shoulders and back warm, but leave my hands mostly free and not tangle up in my legs-- my long cloak, appropriated by D in Canada so unavailable to me, is v. long and full and heavy, and frankly more suited to a big bruiser such as Himself, so he is welcome to it... my shawl leaves my chest uncovered, or my shoulders-- never getting all three. Must decide how I want to close it: could put buttons down the front, could put a clasp, could put ties. Have 5 days to decide.
Kirtle is of soft dark-blue linen, will have close-fitting sleeves but full skirt. Am toying with the idea of making skirt only ankle-length instead of floor-length, so as to not drag hem on dirty floor. Am also toying with idea of making fine lawn underkirtle from the white cotton I picked up on sale. Have 5 days to decide.
Thought du jour: had choccy-covered pinapple at V's, am really really enjoying pineapple lately. Wonder if it signifies anything, such as need for certain vitamin or mineral. ( 4:30 PM )
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